Peter Yurkiw at 100 with great grandson
My dad, Peter Yurkiw, died at 102¾. At death, he had all the wits, and the marbles, with which he was born with.
How did he make it so long?
Genetics were part of it: two of his five siblings made it into their mid-90s. Although he took care of himself, it wasn't overt. I don't think he ever saw the inside of a gym but his healthy weight never varied. He only participated in fitness classes after they moved into a long-term care residence. He ate well (mum rightly took full credit for the food), but you've never seen anyone who liked bread and pasta more than he did. And no meal was complete without a sweet. Alcohol was always moderate, and none for the last years. He smoked a pipe early on but stopped in the mid-60s when the first cancer reports came out.
All this is good, but it describes so many. What was different about dad?
Always Curious
PY (a nickname that became set in stone) was always curious. He was over 100 when he asked about QR codes. He'd seen them on posters and in the newspaper and was curious. He loved to read the local newspaper every day (simultaneously doing the crossword and Sudoku), the national weekly, books (mostly fiction) always at hand.
He was mentally acute to the end. He had a master's in engineering, the first in his family to go to university. He would add long columns of numbers (complete with decimal points) manually. He did his taxes manually before sending them to the accountant. Like a young child, he took to describing his age in fractions, like 100½. He loved music, all kinds, and a music therapist at the residence was a hit! They sang together and she helped him learn to strum the guitar. As the funeral home took his body, this same therapist "sang him home".
Although his hands and eyes were "aged", he loved to play cribbage, his opponent needed to deal and move pegs for him. He often accused his kids of letting him win, but he was just that good. I speak from experience—in a game I was winning handily, he got a 28-point hand—at 1:15,028 odds! No, I didn't win.
Lifelong Love
He loved his wife lifelong. In 1942, he met Margaret in New Brunswick (3 time zones from where he was raised) while he was training with the Canadian Army prior being sent to Europe and World War II. They corresponded for five years. Imagine a 16-year-old girl getting this letter.
On Monday, it was my greatest pleasure to receive your photo, like it? I love it, and these days I'm as happy as a lark. Why in the name of heaven didn't you tell me you had grown as beautiful as that?
70th Wedding Anniversary Congratulatory Message from Her Majesty The Queen, Elizabeth II
Over the years, we children celebrated many occasions with him and our mother. Cuba was a favourite vacation spot for the couple (22 trips, roughly). Three trips involved all the family—3 children, 3 grandchildren plus partners.
Later celebrations were smaller as they became less able to deal with groups. On his 99th birthday, he proudly wore his gift from the entire family: an Oilers jersey celebrating Wayne Gretzky, number 99. All day long, he proclaimed himself to be The First Great One. Other events were acknowledged by the Canadian Prime Minister and by Queen Elizabeth II. At 100, he met his first great-grandchild. Although he never met his second great-grand, PY lives on in this child's sense of humour!
He purposefully outlived Margaret, recognizing that she, who had been gently demented for 10 years, would have been lost without him. And Margaret loved him too! Each day, she'd say at least once, "Your father is a very handsome man, you know". Wow! What support!
Epic Sense of Humor
His epic sense of humor leaned to the ridiculous: "I felt so low I could have walked under a worm with a top hat on." And introducing his wife as his roommate. The humor has passed down three generations and counting.
A Man of Faith
He was a man of faith, from birth to death. He attended church every Sunday until he and my mother couldn't physically manage it. Then a lay person brought church to them. He didn't fear death—growing up on a farm and fighting in a World War gave him experience of it. On one visit, he and I did online search of obituaries—were these former friends still alive? Most weren't, but he took time to remember them and their families, all by name.
Health Challenges and Recovery
His health wasn't perfect. Shortly after retiring at 65, he had a hemorrhagic stroke that changed things. His speech was slow as he searched for words—the quick wit was gone along with his type A personality. The slowness meant a chance for others to get closer to him and it improved our relationships, even as he made a full recovery. He had a series of mini health events after this, but he always had faith in his recovery. Packing the prescribed walker under his arm, he took on encouraging other patients to get active. This continued until a daughter pointed out that the walker was to help HIM relearn how to walk straight. "Oh".
The Energizer Bunny
Living so far away (none of us in the same time zone) made it worrying to watch someone live past 100. While I worked, I told first one, then another, then another… manager I might need to make a sudden trip across the country (6 hours of flying time) to deal with a health issue. But my Energizer Bunny father just kept going and going and going, six years past my retirement.
His son Peter vividly remembers the reactions of others: "He's how old?!" invariably followed by "You have excellent genetics!" And the joy with which our bargain-loving father considered his annuity—bought at age 65 and indexed to the Cost-of-Living! Likely outliving the salesman who sold it!
Joan continued to be fascinated by his curiosity, shown by an early morning phone call asking about the Big Bang Theory. What brought this to mind? "I've got nothing else to do but think." Joan also points out that, while we were very lucky to have long-living parents, that didn't make it easier to let them go. Peter, the "baby" of our family was 66 when dad died; we've all shared so many experiences over so many years.
Dad was a Weather Watcher, and I miss him every time our weather does something unexpected.
Letting Go
At the end, Dad was very ready to die—so of course, we let him go. But Dad was anything but bland and he's constantly in our stories. He cast a big shadow, did PY!
